It’s not a women’s issue. It’s a workplace issue and a human one.
Introduction: The Conversation That Sparked It All
“You’re a man. What makes you think you can talk about sexual harassment?”
That question stopped me cold. I was researching The #NotAgain Project at the time, speaking to people about workplace culture, misconduct and power dynamics. And that response hit a nerve.
It made me angry and not because I felt excluded, but because I knew deep down how many people are waiting for “permission” to care. Or worse, using silence as a shield.
This blog is about why we can’t do that. Why men have to be part of the conversation. And why I got it wrong for far too long.
The Numbers Tell a Bigger Story
The majority of sexual harassment in the workplace is experienced by women. According to TUC research, 53% of women say they’ve been sexually harassed at work. But here’s the stat that often gets overlooked: so have 1 in 5 men.
That 20% matters. Because while the experiences differ, the impact is universal: fear, shame, silence, and mistrust.
When we dismiss sexual harassment as a “women’s issue,” we diminish its reach. And we shrink the pool of people who feel allowed to speak up, support colleagues, or push for change.
Personal Accountability: A Story of Silence
I spent three years as the only man in an office full of women. It was a progressive place, at least on paper. But there were regular comments about men that made me uncomfortable. Jokes. Assumptions. Sarcasm that veered into personal territory. It wasn’t violent. It wasn’t obvious. But it chipped away at me.
I said nothing.
Not because I didn’t notice it, but because I told myself it wasn’t worth the trouble. That I didn’t want to cause tension. That as a man, I should be able to take it. That if I spoke up, I’d be labelled as weak, oversensitive, or somehow anti-feminist.
Here’s why that was the wrong call:
- It allowed the behaviour to continue. Without resistance, that culture became normalised, and not just for me, but for everyone. My silence gave it permission.
- It failed the standard I expected from others. If I wanted colleagues to speak up when they saw harassment against women, why didn’t I do the same when it happened around me?
- It reinforced a harmful double standard. I wouldn’t have tolerated those comments about women. So why did I tolerate them about men?
- It eroded trust. Every time I stayed quiet, I felt a little less aligned with my values. That builds up. And eventually, it spills over.
The biggest reason it was the wrong call? Because silence protects systems, not people.
Why Men Must Speak Up About Sexual Harassment
I’ve heard all the excuses:
- “It’s not my place.”
- “I don’t want to speak over others.”
- “I’ll be criticised no matter what.”
Here’s the truth: You don’t have to dominate the conversation to participate in it. Being part of the solution doesn’t mean being the loudest voice. It means showing up, especially when it’s uncomfortable.
Men can’t wait for it to be “our turn” to care. We have to care now. Because culture doesn’t change unless everyone is involved in reshaping it.
The Danger of Drawing Lines
Telling men to stay in their lane on this issue isn’t just unhelpful, it’s harmful. It reinforces the idea that only victims get to set the agenda. And that mindset limits progress.
When only certain people are allowed to speak, the silence around harassment gets louder. And that silence benefits no one except the people perpetrating harm.
We don’t need perfect allies. We need active ones. We need people willing to stand up, call it out, and shift the culture together.
Moving Forward: How to Speak Up and Show Up
Here’s what being part of the solution can look like:
- Speak up when something feels off.
- Back others who speak up.
- Support training, reporting structures and clear policies.
- Create space for open, honest conversations.
- Reflect on your own behaviour and be open to feedback.
You don’t need a script. You just need to speak up.
Conclusion: This Is Everyone’s Business
So yes, I’m a man. And I talk about sexual harassment because I stayed silent when I shouldn’t have. Because I saw harm and did nothing. Because I know better now.
Sexual harassment isn’t a women’s issue. It’s a workplace issue. It’s a culture issue. It’s a human issue.
Let’s treat it like one.
